Academics Vs. Real World

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 16:57:18 -0600

The last few weeks of autumn have been spent preparing for Ben’s three-year re-evaluation for the school system. Several assessments are used for this and so I have had a lot of opportunity to reflect on Ben’s development of skills and also on his lack of development of new skills in some areas. As I was subjected to these assessments, I acknowledged that I was beginning to feel depressed, I thought we had come so far but the paperwork appeared to show that we hadn’t.

As I evaluated the different growth areas, I came to realize that the things we had focused most strongly on, he had developed and some things that we hadn’t spent as much time on, he had not.

When we hear the term behavior, we often tend to think of prosocial behavior and maladaptive behavior. As a society we tend to define behavior in terms of how someone acts. We look at aggression, property destruction, yelling, throwing things, etc. We work on learning how to eliminate those behaviors by teaching replacement behaviors and learning calming techniques, etc.

Behavior is anything we do. This includes our skills that we have learned in order to function each day. Getting dressed, washing your face, brushing your teeth, showering, cooking a meal, eating a meal, opening a door, reading the mail, riding a bus, driving a car, etc. are all examples of behavior.

In examining the way that I have worked with Ben, I have found that I have been successful in teaching him many academic skills, and many replacement behavior skills but, I have not been as diligent in teaching life skills, as I need to be. In looking for a way to rectify that, I have learned that I need to prioritize the skills that he needs to learn and break them down into teachable steps. That seems overwhelming, but it shouldn’t. Any proficient Behavior Analyst should be able to help you with determining where there are needs and will help you to decide on the hierarchy of which things to work on first.

Ben has made great strides and has gone further than anyone expected, but with the proper training in place, I believe he will continue to grow and learn not just academically and prosocially but also adaptively.

For that I am truly thankful!

Driver’s Education...

Mon, 3 Sep 2007 09:46:29 -0500

I am continually amazed by the maturity and growth that Ben demonstrates at the most surprising times. We were having Ben’s Annual IEP for school, and the team leader turned to me and asked “Will Ben be participating in Driver’s Ed. This year?” I reminded that administrator that Ben was right next to me and that he should be asked. After a sigh and a roll of the eyes, the administrator turned to Ben and asked, “Ben, will you be taking Driver’s Ed. this year?”

Now this is something that I had agonized over for some time. Ben has always become excited when NASCAR was on television. Noone else in our family watches NASCAR, so it was obvious to me that this was something that Ben had found that he truly enjoyed, he wasn’t simply modeling what someone else in the family liked. As he got older and was able to express himself verbally, he would speak about the things he would do when he could drive. At a young age this wasn’t scary to me, because I wanted to believe that he would be able to drive.

As Ben grew older, his sensory issues though better controlled did not disappear completely. Specifically, unexpected noises, such as sirens, would still cause Ben to become very anxious, often covering his ears and hiding his head. All of us who drive, know that sirens, etc. can happen at any time. How would I truly be able to prepare him for the unexpected if he were going to drive?

I began to investigate various options, virtual car driving, go-carts, etc. in order to prepare for teaching Ben some of what to expect when driving. I went thru many agonizing hours, trying to figure out whether this was something that I should just not even allow him to try. Would I be putting other pedestrians and drivers at risk? I silently agonized over these issues, but never said a word to Ben.

Back to the day of the meeting, I looked at Ben, a bit apprehensively, wondering what he would say. He looked around the room at all of the people gathered, and cleared his throat. He then said to them, “ I have autism. Sometimes noises bother me. I think it is more important for other people to be safe then it is for me to drive. I can find other ways of getting places. I choose not to take Driver’s Ed. so that my friends, and others can be safe.” The tears streamed down my face as I stood up and went over to Ben and hugged him. There were few dry eyes anywhere in the room.

I learned a lesson from Ben that day. It’s not all about me. Ben taught me to look at the big picture and to examine how my wants and needs are not always the most important thing. It is important to look at the big picture and to see how all will be affected by our deeds. My baby may not be driving a vehicle, but he certainly is in the championship circle for navigating his life!

Parent’s Grove

Academics Vs. Real World

Driver’s Education...